3 Boys

This was the scene on my kitchen table last week. My older son spent his time before school planning out a very detailed war. There is always a war, battle or attack going on in my house. This setup was picture worthy to me. It was the moment I think I realized this is my life...as a mama to almost 3 boys.

While I may never have tutu's and mother/daughter mani-pedi's, I'll have tons of energy and laughter in my house, Lego's to dance around and a vast knowledge of Star Wars guys. And of course, lots of sweet cuddly moments from my little men.

Oh and the hope for a possible niece someday...

I'm (mostly) Back!

After 21 loooonnnnnggggg weeks, my body has decided that food is not the enemy and maybe I don't need to carry plastic bags where ever I go. I have hit the 25 week mark in my pregnancy today and I not only feel much better, but hungry like never before. That queasy feeling does make it's appearance, but only if I let myself get hungry. Which doesn't happen often, since I am always eating.

My family has the head cook of this operation back. I cook every night again. I cook breakfast- a lot. I have been baking. I have begun a new relationship with my slow cooker. I am trying really hard to eat protein and iron rich foods to deal with this cursed anemia that wipes me out.

I must put cream cheese on everything. It's wonderful. It's amazing how great you feel when that horrible sickness that consumed your every waking hour is gone. You see food in a different light.

Now I'm starting some new little lovelies of pregnancy, but all I have to do is reflect on what I've been through and they seem small. The heartburn is worth the price to pay to eat enchiladas with hot sauce again...

Unfinished Projects

So, I finally finished unpacking the craft/office/stuff room yesterday after living here since August 2ND. I am so proud of this accomplishment. I walk by the room and just look. And admire.

I am not a neat crafter, so I know it's a matter of time before it looks like it did two days ago. I did have one item lost in the move. My Fiskars Flame scissors that were RAK'd to me a while ago. They are so cool and now they are so lost. I'm sure they are in some sort of something...

Which leads me to this thought and goal: I have A LOT of unfinished projects in that room!!! I knew I did, but putting them back in the TWO crates made me sad. I'm a quitter. Well, almost. I know my style. I go to a crop, thinking I will finish one project. I work on it all day and never visit it again. It goes in the crate. Crate is full.

I have 5 months left until my little sprout is due. As soon as I find out what this little one is, I plan on pre-scrapping a baby book. 3 kids=no scrap time. In the meantime, I want to work on these unfinished projects. I know some of them need some journaling, maybe a embellishment or two and they are done.

Why is it so hard to go back???

Maybe I will post my finished projects...wish me luck!

Lost: My creativity.

One of the hardest things I've had to deal with lately, besides the daily puking and all around yuck I've been feeling, is losing my interest in anything crafty.

We moved in our new home and I started unpacking my supplies, excited to get back to it. Then the overwhelming queasiness and tiredness took over and I haven't returned. Well, a couple of times I've attempted, but it wasn't what it used to be.

Now, my stash is sitting in mixed up piles around the room, waiting. The new Cricut I received for my birthday is there to greet me when I walk in and walk back out. You can almost hear it sigh.

The most I've done is make some finger puppets and goodie bags for N's birthday and started a pregnancy scrapbook for #3. That's it. I participated in a soon to be aired project with some fellow crafters, but the whole time I was hoping that I would make it through without incident. Oh and I made A CARD at a CTMH open house. Wow.

I am sort of jealous reading through some of my favorite crafter's blogs and FB to see what they are making for Halloween. I don't even know where my scissors are. I've missed out on some fun crafting opportunities simply because I just can't right now.

Crafting, especially scrapbooking, is my favorite me-time activity. Anyone that knows me, knows this. My new me-time activity is sleeping or making a permanent imprint of my arse on the couch because I'm too sick to move.

I'm hopeful that one of these days I'll wake up feeling better and the Crafty Fairy will have sprinkled me with glitter in the night and I'll be ready to crop. Well, I guess it has cut back my crafty spending...

Growing a Baby

As previously posted, I am in fact, growing another child. I am entering my 13Th week today. I am also hopefully entering the second trimester with that supposed relief from all day sickness and the burst of energy that comes with it. I'm waiting....

If you know me, you know in my mind I wasn't done with 2. My hubs was. I was turning 35 and time was ticking. I know women have children much later, but I am not that woman. So, when a few weeks after my birthday I had an inkling I might be with child, I was scared. I knew that I had wished for another, but this was a real possibility. This was a surprise to us, I mean as much as it can be (no TMI here). I kept telling my hubs that I think I am, I think I am. And then I waited and waited to take a test. Torture for him.

So when it was positive, I wasn't surprised. Just, once again scared. Until I read a post somewhere about a similar situation. A woman talked about her experience and it spoke to me. She talked about looking at her newborn and knowing that someone, somewhere knew that the time was right for this baby to be conceived. Even though at the time, the parents were newly married and still working out the beginnings of marriage. There was a reason. I know this is true for us too.

I think as soon as this morning sickness passes (worst I've EVER had!!!) I can really wrap my head around this. I mean, we found out, moved and I got sick all in the same time frame. Yesterday I started working on a pregnancy scrapbook and peeked at maternity clothes online (I'm already showing). I think it's starting to sink in and I think, no I know, I can't wait to meet this little guy or gal. Think Pink.

Summer is over...How did that happen?

Today being Labor Day, I thought it would be a perfect day to review our fabulous summer. All the fantastic trips we went on. All the trips to the museum, the park, the beach. All the cook-outs we had. All the scrapbooking I caught up on. All the digital pictures I organized on the computer.



Oh wait....



Well, we started off good. We did go to the park and beach. I started those digital pictures. Then about two weeks or so into summer vacation, life happened.



We found a nice, big house for rent down the street from where we lived. Buying was becoming a stressful nightmare. We woke up from the nightmare and decided to check out the said house. So, at the beginning of August, we moved. Now my guys can ride scooters with abandon, use sidewalk chalk and Laugh Out Loud without being shushed, glared at or given another citation for doing so.



About 2 weeks before we moved, life threw us another curve ball. And another life. Yep, it's true. #3 is growing as we speak. (Will approach that subject at a later date). And because my body is good at this baby business, it shows the love by making me extremely sick. Like, I can't leave the house or get off the couch/bed/bathroom floor sick.



I feel really bad for giving my kids a summer that didn't go as planned. Nothing ended up as planned this summer. But at the same time, my boys got to spend lots of time just doing things with their daddy, going on a first father/son camping trip, eating countless meals in our first backyard, hanging out in the garage, enjoying their dad's cooking and grocery shopping buys, taking an art class and going on neighborhood adventures.



Hopefully, soon, we will be back to "normal." Whatever that means...

One Year Anniversary of SAHMdom

It's been (almost) one whole year since I stamped in on a time clock. One year since I fought the 91 to get to work on time. One year since I worried about what mistakes I would make that day. One year since I cleaned a bathroom that wasn't in my own home, while visions of the hours spent in college swirled in my head. One year since I had to answer to Miss Tanya. One year since I've had to deal with parents in custody disputes and crazy he said/she said phone conversations. One year since I had to sweat in the outdoors without a choice to go back inside. One year since I had to decide if going pee was worth the trouble it made. Whoa, I could go on and on.



It took me a good month after leaving my job to detox from the stress I was under. I am not cut out to be a working mom. Really.


Don't get me wrong. I loved my job. I loved the kids, the staff, the school. I grew up with them: got married and had my boys in the time I worked there. I have a strong work ethic. I give myself fully to my job and try to do my best everyday.


But being a SAHM was what I wanted most in life. After I had my first baby (like minutes), I was already worried about going back. I was miserable. The day I returned, I was a disaster. I remember cleaning J's bottles after work and running around like crazy and thinking, "This is how it's gonna be?" Of course, we adjusted. And then came Baby #2. I had an overall easier time from the start. plus I acutally took time off before his birth to RELAX.
Still, I had that feeling that this was too much too handle and I wasn't being the mom I wanted to be. I remember the day when my MIL and FIL came to visit. They saw the madness after work, especially the days when I was pumping and defrosting and all that nonsense. My MIL made a comment, which I can't remember exactly, but along the lines of, "When do you relax and just be with the boys?" Because of our schedules, there was no time. This was not living.

Fast forward to a year ago: J was diagnosed with ADHD and we were wondering how Kindergarten would go and after school care. It was really difficult to leave work if he was ill or needed us (for both of us, especially me). My husband was confident we could manage on one income. I was excited with the idea, but scared. It was the best decision we've made...

Our house is a happy place now. We all get along much better. We eat better. We have fun together. We have time for each other. I've made friends quickly, even though I was thinking I might not meet anyone that stays home.

We've survived almost one year on one income. We had to cut out a lot of extras, but we have gotten used to it. In a way, I enjoy being a bargain girl. I have always been thrifty, but now I see it as a fun challenge.

I am so thankful for an amazing husband that has worked so hard to give me this opportunity. He will never know how much it really means to me. It doesn't make me want to cook anymore or keep the house any cleaner, but I know that I will have time to do these things and sit down and color a picture or go on an adventure in the neighborhood without worrying about what I need to do the next day.

35

Well, here it is. The day I've kinda been dreading. The day I turn 35. I'm not officially 35 until 7:02 this morning. And as I pointed this out, my teenage cousin said, "Well, enjoy it while it lasts."

I know I'm not alone in this anxiety about turning 35. I have talked to many other women that dreaded it. For some, it was the idea that 40 is right around the corner. For others, it was the thought of not accomplishing goals that they dreamed would be met by now. All could laugh (uneasily) at the thought of now checking off the third box down on most surveys. But overall, the thing that bothered most in my quest for comfort was the whole, "Advanced Maternal Age" factor.

Take my BF for instance. "Pixxiee" and her husband have been trying for years to have a baby. I can not begin to understand how they feel every month when that unwanted visitor beats down her door every month. She is constantly reminded that time is tickin'. She was even informed that even in adoption, she is "advanced." Talk about pressure.

The other couple of women I talked to both had their 3td child after 35. Both happy accidents. Both ladies wanted the 3td, but the husbands not so much. They got their wish. They also got worry and stress and lots of demands for their husbands to get taken care of immediately after #3 was born.

I would love to add another little guy to our craziness. My husband is on the not-so-much bandwagon. I can understand why though. One of the moms of 3 told me, "If you look at your family picture and it feels like someone is missing, someone is." I like this. I get this. I sometimes see an empty spot in our little family. I can dream. No pressure.

Get Your Lemonade Here!

On Monday, Jake asked, "When can I have a lemonade stand?" Since it's summertime and the livin' is easy, I replied, "How about tomorrow?" His friend, Josh, was there and the two started creating a business plan. It was going to open at 3 and close at 7, unless they wanted to go swimming, then it would close early.

So, Tuesday at 3 rolled around after a long day of questions and scenarios presented by Jake. What if no one comes? What if too many people come? What if I want to go swimming? Unfortunately, Jake's silent partner (his little bro) was still napping, so the Grand Opening was postponed. I contacted Josh's secretary (his mom) and let her know of the delays. She, too, had been hounded since 6:30 a.m. about the Grand Opening.

We gave up on Sleeping Beauty and set up shop. We didn't have lemonade (oopsie) and went with Crystal Light Cherry Limeade. Just as yummy, according to Jake. Within minutes we had a customer. Shockingly, a neighbor who is either always yelling at her kids or giving us the evil eye drove by and noticed the stand. Minutes later, one of her ultra-polite teenage sons came over and said, "I heard there was a lemonade stand." My heart soared. Thank. Good. Ness. Bless you and your cranky mom, you just made my day. He paid a dollar and Jake poured about a tablespoon in to a Spongebob cup. The teen said, "Thanks, that's all I needed."

Soon, Josh and his siblings and mom showed up. His 3 year old sister sat in full diva mode in her tutu and glasses, never cracking a smile. I think that kid drank about a gallon of the product that day. We had one drive by customer (they actually backed up and got car hop service, nice) and two customers due to social networking.

Although Dad paid for most of the cups, it was a fun day for all. And I think we made it through without getting a citation from the HOA....

Summer Traditions

Do you have any summer traditions with your family/friends?

I got to thinking about this as I started planning a fun-filled summer for my easily bored, little guys. Summer vacation started this past Friday, but summer starts officially today. And what better celebrates the taste of summer than ice cream. Better yet, (in my house) frozen yogurt.
So I am starting a new tradition and doing something crazy with my family-having fro yo for dinner. My 6 year old thinks this is crazy and rebellious. All the reason more to do it. I am a very picky mama when it comes to what my boys eat, so I'm letting loose.

I strive hard to create experiences and traditions for them that will last them a lifetime. Most of my memories of summer consist of babysitting my brother and then step-siblings. Staying inside all day, watching hours of cheesy movies and doing chores. Good times.

There are some good moments/traditions that I remember and still enjoy. My birthday is near the 4Th of July, so I would get to celebrate with family on the 4Th , complete with fireworks. I waited for what seemed like hours as my dad made homemade ice cream on the driveway. Last summer our family attempted making it in a Ziploc baggie. Once the frostbite passed, the ice cream was yummy.

I hope my boys remember their summers as fun, carefree times. I hope they appreciate that I was so excited for school to be out, just to spend more time with them. Most of all, I hope that they enjoy our traditions enough to do it with their children someday.

My Summer Goal

I love scrapbooking. I hate my system of photos. It's not even a system. It's a disaster.


Ever since our first digital camera, it has been a nightmare to find the exact picture I want. Way back when, I printed pictures on our home printer. These pictures are now purple, if there is any ink on them.


Then came Shutterfly, Snapfish and other printing services. I swear by these. Printing at home can get expensive and I just don't see the quality I see through these services. I am always watching the deals on these sites. They do offer some good deals. You know you order a lot of pictures when they offer you free albums, prints and gifts for being a loyal customer!


Well, anyway, about my goal. I want to organize all of my digital prints and save them in 3 locations. I have too many and I know this, but I think I can do it. I even started and completed 2 whole photo cards. Yay!

And summer vacation just began...

p.s. I mysteriously received a magazine yesterday. A crafting one. Wonder who sent it? A blog reader that saw my wish list perhaps???

School Year Wrap-Up

Well, we have 4 days of school left. 4 days of Kindergarten.

It seems like just yesterday, all us Kinderparents were sitting together in the multi-purpose room listening to what would be expected of our then preschoolers. None of us seemed to know each other. I was so worried about how many trantrums my 5 year old would have, how we would get homework done with his lack of focus and would I remember to keep his uniform clean and ready to go each day?

I was not only focused on the transition to Kindergarten, but my future transition into a SAHM.

Fast forward to the present. I have made friends with many Kinderparents. I was able to volunteer way more than I could have ever done as a working mom.

My son has not (as to date) had tantrums, received a citation, or recommendation for military school. He has become a math whiz of sorts. HE CAN READ. He has made so many friends that seem to accept his bossiness, um, leadership. We walk to school and there are children hanging out of their car windows screaming his name to say hello.

Homework has not been an easy task, but we've done it and turned it in on time! Yes, I said we. I think I should get an A for the amount of times I have said, "Focus!" and "Pick up your pencil from the floor."

As this school year ends, I am so grateful for his amazing teacher, who is retiring this year. I couldn't have picked a more patient, fun and just amazing teacher for him. I am already missing her!

Goodbye Kindergarten, hello First Grade!

8 years of Wedded Bliss

We are celebrating by attending a 1st grade information night, cleaning up a pee'd in bed and watching, "Star Wars the Clone Wars." Is this what I saw as I looked away from the camera in this picture? Probably not. But I wouldn't change it for anything.

My Wish List

I haven't posted in a while and really have nothing interesting to say, so here is my own personal list of scrappy wishes---in case anyone wants to make my dreams come true. ;)

1. Glimmer Mist/Glimmer Mists Screens/Stamps...Anything related! I tried this stuff over the weekend and it's pretty awesome.
2. A small butterfly punch...I love butterflies, what other reason do I need?
3. Fiskars paper crimper. Easy and fun!
4. Alpha stickers. Yes I have a million, but "X, Y and Z" will only get you so far!
5. 7 Gypsies Painters Artist Tray... I have big ideas for this one
6. Small flower punch (rounded petals). I bought (for some reason) some flower embellishments a while back and now that I'm trying to make my own embellies, I have no idea why I paid whatever I did for these. I can make them, if I had this punch.
7. A new scrapbook mag. I know, boring, but they can be $$$!

I'm sure there are a million more things I want out there, but I'll stick to the small things today :)

Kindergarten and the Prom

I did not grow up here in Yorba Linda, I grew up in Orange. We were certainly not well off, nor were the populations of the schools I attended. All of my friends had working moms, just like me. Outdoor Ed. and the annual carnival ('member those goldfish that would die by the time you got back from buying a bowl for it?) were pretty much the highlights of your elementary school career. Good times. But, oh, that's nothing now...

I attended a meeting this week for the annual Kindergarten Ball at my son's school. It started off great- info about the committees that would be formed, the "vision" of the party, etc. But then the speaker got very serious and said she needed to warn us of a few things. Last year, some children received corsages and boutonnieres from their parents. Okay, whatever. Big fancy party. Oh and some arrived in limos. Um, excuse me? My mom friend and I looked at each other shocked. I think I went into tunnel hearing at that point. Mom friend said, "What do they do for prom? Come in by helicopter?"

We were also informed that the girls are usually very dressed up for this event. I need to check out tuxedo rentals, apparently. More (entertaining) importantly, what are the moms going to wear?

Dirty Scraps Challenge #5

The 5th Challenge for Dirty Scraps is to scrap about a dream...a shattered one. When I was growing up, I had a set of dreams/goals and I have so far accomplished many. But this page reflects one that hasn't happened and bugs me...

Journaling reads:

Of all the goals and dream I have set for myself, the one I have yet to reach is living in a house. I don't even have to own it. Just to have a yard to watch my boys play in, my own driveway and a place to entertain family and friends is what I dream most about. I'm so tired of living "attached." (journaling 3/17/10)

Rant about Kids, HOAs and Obesity

'Member when you could play outside till the lights came on? You could ride your bike around the block and not get kidnapped? You could have an ice cream and burn off all the calories in a single afternoon at the park? Not so much anymore of course.

This is not a new subject and it's debated on every day across this great fast-food nation. When I taught, I was AMAZED at what some children brought to school to eat each day. One little 2 year old had a steady breakfast of Flamin' Hot Cheetos, every day! Another boy got a doughnut every morning, just so his mother wouldn't have to deal with his monster sized tantrums every morning. Oh and the toddler who got soda in his bottle. (BTW, soda doesn't work in bottles---the nipple inflates really big!)

Now I know my kids don't always eat a perfectly balanced meal, but I try hard to make it better than the meals mentioned above and many more that I witnessed. But I do try even harder to make sure they get time outside everyday. Yesterday, my almost 6 year old complained he didn't get enough time on the computer earlier in the day. Hmmm, that means more outside time for you mister! He was literally at the door, begging to come in. Nope.

But here lies the problem...we live in a retirement community, wait no, a community of townhomes with like 500 children. These children are supposed to stay inside all day, quietly. Or so it seems. We got a lovely letter from the property management company that basically said children at our residence were seen riding a wheeled toy. Yes, the rule was broke, but really? Our constantly supervised child is not doing cool tricks off the handralls at the rec room no one is allowed to use without handing over their first born! He is not wrecking the rodent invested plants. He is not tearing off the stucco that is always falling off with a slight breeze! No he is riding up and down our little sidewalk behind our place. Back and forth, back and forth. Better than playing on the patio, which at times looks as if he is exercising in his prision cell.

We have neighbor-friends that live a few streets over, they have also gotten love letters. That was until one of them helped the complainer on that street with the said rodent problem and the complaints have stopped. Another neighbor-friend lives on the best street ever. There are about a billion (okay maybe just the 475 of the said 500) kids on this street. They all play outside together. The old people sit outside and watch. It's a beautiful thing. We travel over there just to play. Our street is BORING.

Finding a fun street is SO going to be apart of our next move...

Dirty Scraps Challenges #3 & #4

During the Oscar's, I took some time to work on a couple of challenge pages I had been wanting to do for Dirty Scraps.

Challenge #3: This was a challenge to complete a page with the theme, "Broken." I made my page about a broken friendship that really bothered me for some time...

Challenge #4: This challenge was to complete a LO with the theme, "In Your Eyes." This page is about something my husband has told me several times, but I still don't believe it myself!

I am so loving the challenges! They give me room to break out of my box. These "emotional" challenges also serve as a sort of therapy to sort out things about myself.

What has Mama been up to???

Making Home Decor

Organizing LO ideas

Color Coordinating CS

Organizing Supplies

Playing with Friends

Going to a Crop and
getting something
accomplished!

What have you been up to?

I Love the Summer, er, Winter!

It's Baby Time!

This morning one of my former co-workers had her first baby. I am so excited for her and can't wait to meet the little guy. I am jealous of her 6 pushes and he's out, though! :) As I heard the news, I reminisced with myself about those moments and how much I truly loved them and miss them so much.

This is the season for babies in our circle of friends...We know so many preggos that are due in the next two months. It started with our nephew, Shivaya, who was born in December. And now two more have been born, two more to go.

The next round starts this summer I guess.

Who's next???

Mother Nature is not-so-gently reminding me of my impending age. Advanced Maternal Age. She is giving me months of undeniable pain to gently poke me and say, "Hey, your eggs are on the road to expiration!" That and when my children scream in unison, the eggs basket tightens up as to say, "Absoultely not, don't even think it."

Crazy how one day, you are at a child-bearing age and the next, you are ancient. *shrug*

It's Almost Valentine's Day!!!

I kid.

Dirty Scraps Challenge #2

This page is for the Dirty Scraps challenge blog. The challenge was to scrap a pivotal point in your life, good or bad. There were so many for me to choose from! Jake's diagnosis was the first one that popped into my head. I figured I wouldn't over think it and just go with it. I'm so glad I did...

Journaling reads:

What do you do? It’s not like he’s different today from yesterday, right? Same kid. Same challenges. Same love and light of your life. So you grieve a day or two when you realize your child isn’t perfect. You already knew he wasn’t. You’ve been dealing with the monster tantrums, the inability to focus, the non-stop energy for his 5 years. Now it’s time to form a game plan. How are you going to prepare for school, for home, for life? It’s just a label really, but it opens up new opportunities and of course, the unknown challenges.

Jake,
We took a parenting/social skills class together after your diagnosis. The first night we went around all shared what we admired about our children. Many things that are hard for you or tough for us to deal with are overall qualities to be admired. Your creativeness, your amazing leadership skills and kindness to all will take you great places. We all need to learn how to steer you in the right direction. This is going to be a long and winding journey, but we won’t give up on you!

Love,
Mama

Journaling: 2/7/10
Photo: 6/2009 @ CUIDAR graduation

EEEK! A Mouse!

Happy Weekend!

So I had a dreaded mouse run-in today! We had some family over for lunch and spent a lot of time outside playing 20 (!) square hopscotch, amazing at Nolan's hoop skills and fun in general. Well, everyone went home or in the house except Murray and I. We were talking about "stuff" and then as I was looking at her, a little furry white and black creature peeked out from the chair under her legs. The rest was a blur! I really can't remember what I said or did, except yell for my hero with a broom and no fear of rodents! Somehow we made it in the house, embracing and I was closing the blinds to protect the children (me) from the extermination that was about to be taking place. The mouse (which was not small, according to hero with broom) met the broom face to face (or bristle and handle to neck) and is now resting eternally in a box in the community pool's trash can. Yes, hero with broom knows my fear of even a dead mouse and took the corpse to the furthest trash can. Or he knows I would rather stockpile trash until trash day instead of the possibility of running across the dead mouse, in a box, while opening the trash can. Yes, they can still scare me when dead and defeated. So that was about 2 hours ago and I'm still recovering.
See, we had a mouse invasion in our house in the Fall and I have not recovered. Give me a spider, a roach, a billion and two ants and I'm fine. Give me the thought of a mouse and I'm done. It ruined me for a few weeks and I am still paranoid as ever. They literally made little holes in my walls! No, not the cute ones with matchbook beds and tiny lamps, but really ugly holes. (Thanks, Sue...still makes me laugh) I think I was feeling better and braver, but this has set me back a few months. Damn.

How much do I love the "Snorkel" line from Cosmo Cricket?

This much...

Yep, I framed 3 of my favorite papers and put them on the wall. My boy's bathroom is a bright, under-the-sea theme. I have a very hard time finding the right wall art/decor and since we've lived here a year and a half, I thought it was time to decorate.

I got the idea from Disneyland. I believe it was in the baby changing room that they framed paper or wallpaper. How easy is that? You never know where inspiration will strike!

Hello out there in Blog Land! So, I jumped on the blog bandwagon. Now what? Well, I'm hoping I can use this blog to showcase some of my crafty stuff, rants, raves and who knows what else???

I also want to get into completing challenges for other crafty places, so...

This might get ugly! There is one blog in particular that is already getting me thinking about confronting some "stuff", so it might offend some. Who knows if I'm brave enough to do it though:)